DVD Review: Zombie 5: Killing Birds

Zombie 5: Killing Birds is another in the series of unrelated Italian zombie films. It may carry the Zombie moniker, but it is not related to Zombie 4: After Death nor Zombi 3. Also, you will notice that midway they even decided to change the spelling of zombie, from the Italian to the English versions. So, the Zombie tag is nothing more than a marketing gimmick at this point. You will also notice that when the film starts, it is merely Killing Birds, no Zombie to be found. Once the film completes, you will also discover that it has very little in the way of birds or zombies, both are much more prominent in (still unrelated) Zombi 3. The last thing you will discover, if you make it all the way through, is that it is easily the weakest of the bunch, and offers none of the nonsensical fun that previous installments provided. Again, this is assuming that you make it all the way to the conclusion.

Killing Birds opens in a way to make you think it will be a slasher film. A Vietnam vet has returned home to find his wife in bed with another man. In short order, he slits the man's throat and leaves the room to await his wife's inevitable discovery of said slit and exit the home with a quickness. He slowly stalks her into the couple's aviary, where he repeats the throat cutting process. Meanwhile, what one could assume are the in-laws (though no evidence is given) arriving with, again what one could assume, is his baby. He kills them in decidedly slasher movie fashion. You know, no matter how fast you run and how slow the killer walks, he will always be right there with the death blow. The cleanup of the deceased results in the, until now, faceless vet killer getting his eyes plucked by a couple of hawks in the aviary. The final scene of this ten minute, dialogueless, sequence has a bandaged man being led into a hospital while his baby is taken away.

Now, as is apt to happen in this Zombie movies, there is a jump in time without any indication that it happened. The scene shifts to a college campus that is populated with thirty-somethings that have trouble talking straight. They are excited because they get to head into protected Louisiana land in search of an ivory billed woodpecker! I can sense your excitement from here! The group is led by mush mouthed Steve, and joined by his ex-girlfriend reporter, a photographer, a computer geek who makes stick figure porn (I kid you not), and a few other assorted hangers on. They head off to meet the last known man to see the bird, and guess what? He is blind, his face scarred, and played by Robert Vaughn.

If you hadn't already guessed it, Vaughn is the killer from the opening. This also means that he either had a great lawyer that got him out pretty quickly, or he was able to hide his victims and gave his son up for adoption. Again, nothing is explained and we are left to fill in the blanks. Oh yes, he is also a doctor, Dr. Fred Brown. This would mean that prison gave out great educations, or he was never jailed. Neither really makes any sense, but then again....

Anyway, Dr. Brown sends our intrepid team of, uh, bird watchers out into the woods. We are then treated to an extended sequence of them, uh, bird watching. They wander around shooting pictures, recording sounds, and doing absolutely nothing interesting.

By now, you have to be wondering where the zombies or killing birds are. I was wondering the same thing. Eventually, a couple of zombies show up (yes, only two) to beat someone to death or lumber after someone. We even have a character burst into flames for no reason and run off into the woods never to be seen again.

Zombie 5: Killing Birds is simply awful. The characters are annoying, the deaths are few and far between, there isn't even a shred of a reason for the zombies, there are few zombies, no killing birds, and the entire film is a bore. I like bad movies, but they have to deliver some sort of fun. Both Zombi 3 and Zombie 4: After Death are bad movies, but in a way that they actually provide some fun and are at least watchable. Killing Birds is good as a cure for insomnia.

Audio/Video. Why bother? Both are absolutely mediocre. I am sure it is the best they could do with whatever sources they have, and you can only polish a turd so much, its nature remains the same.

Extras. Trailers, a photo gallery, and an uninteresting Robert Vaughn interview are all that is included here.

Bottomline. It is no surprise that this is the only film that Claudio Lattanzi directed (although Joe D'Amato apparently ghost directed much of it), it is terrible. There are virtually no redeeming values to the movie, though there is one decent gore scene of a head being ripped from its torso. Still, this is so dreadfully dull that I cannot believe anyone, outside of zombie movie devotees, being able to sit through this dreck.

Not Recommended.