Movie Review: Dragon Wars

Wow. Where to begin? This film was nearly incomprehensible. Dragon Wars is so bad its funny. Seriously, this is perfect fodder for Mystery Science Theater 3000 style commentary. I sat in the darkened theater on opening night, only three other brave souls joined me. That is not a good sign, but it was still more than who went to see DOA: Dead or Alive on opening night. Dragon Wars is a Korean import which sports the largest budget ever for a Korean production at around $30 million. I am wondering where the budget went. As far as I can guess, it was all spent on the effects, which were not all that great (although I am willing to overlook that). Here is the short of it: see this if you are looking for a movie that is so bad its funny, wait for DVD if you are curious and like dragon movies, do not see this if you want to retain all brain cells and are hoping for a good movie.

As I sat there, shaking my head in dismay, I tried to think just where this project might have gone so wrong. Was it in the editing bay? Could there be a lot more footage that would flesh out the story and characters that was left on the cutting room floor? I know something was. There is a listing for the version that played in Europe that is 107 minutes long, a good twenty minutes longer than the American release. I do not know what the running time in Korea was. The next place it could have gone wrong was in the translation. It is a Korean film, so I am assuming that it was written in Korean. However, the film does star American actors and was shot primarily in English. Perhaps there was something lost in translation. I find that to be unlikely, but I am sure it is a possibility. We could also go all the way back to when writer/director Hyung-rae Shim was writing the screenplay. If the basis is flawed, it stands to reason that the final product will be flawed. When you are directing your own script, there is one more skipped layer of checks and balances. One less person to read the script and say: "This is awful." The more I watched, the more I got the feeling of an Ed Wood-like attitude at work. Wood was not a good filmmaker, but he was in love with the art of it all. Shim may be like that, in love with what he put on the page and what was appearing in the dailies. Love will put blinders on you, masking you from how poor the product really is.

Dragon Wars opens with the revelation of a scaley object in a large crater in some park. CGNN reporter Ethan Kendrick (Jason Behr of Roswell fame) is on the scene, sees the object and suddenly he remembers something. A flashback is triggered to his childhood. He is in an antique shop, with his father, when a box opens of its own accord and bathes the youngster in bright white light. Jack (Robert Forster) noticing this, sends the father off for herbs after feigning a heart attack, leaving the boy with the stranger (kind of creepy, if you ask me). Jack sits the young Ethan down and proceeds to relate a flashback/legend originating in Korea. This triggers a flashback within a flashback.

The next section of the film takes place in Korea. The story is told through a combination of those in the scene and via Robert Forster voiceover. This is where everything starts to fly off the rails. We are told of good Imoogi and bad Imoogi, the evil Buraki who is a treacherous Imoogi and his army of followers, desires to be a celestial dragon, a tattoo-like birthmark, and Joun Ji Yoo (which is pronounced a few different ways throughout the film). We even get a big battle of with Buraki's followers invading a small town in search of the girl that possesses the Joun Ji Yoo. This battle bears a striking similarity to the Battle of Naboo from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Creatures with cannons on their back, being led by squadrons of warriors in stormtrooper-like armor battling a small band of underequipped townsfolk.

Back to the present, Ethan heads off hunting for a girl named Sarah. Why? She has the Joun Ji Yoo and the evil Buraki Imoogi is out to get her, of course! He just happens to be the chosen defender of the young woman that he doesn't know. Meanwhile, Sarah has this crazy feeling that something bad is going to happen, although she is at a loss to explain anything. Eventually the two meet up. No sooner are they together that Buraki shows up and is on the warpath through LA. Yes, this is a Korean legend and Korean dragons, but it all takes place in Los Angeles with American characters. Go figure.

Battle rages through Los Angeles as Buraki and his armies march through the city in search of Joun Ji Yoo. Ethan and Sarah are running around trying to figure out what's going on. The military get involved, engaging the armies of Buraki in the streets. They spread wanton destruction without a thought to any civilian casualties. The FBI is also on hand. Somehow they have figured out what Sarah is and are also trying to find her.

That almost makes sense! In all honesty, this movie makes none. From the moment that Robert Forster relates the tale of the Imoogi legend everything just falls apart. At one point Sarah says that she doesn't understand what is going on. Tell me about it. Characters act in a unrealistic fashion. The story is told, but nothing is explained. Characters and creatures appear out of nowhere. Some of the effects are halfway decent, but overall there is nothing to really latch onto.

Bottomline. Unbelievably bad. Still, it is worth watching to make fun of, though I cannot recommend paying to see it in the theater. This is perfect fodder for your Netflix queue, a bunch of friends, and a touch of alcohol. Itgets a bonus point for the unintentional comedy.

Not Recommended.