Movie Review: In the Name of the King - A Dungeon Siege Tale

The infamous Uwe Boll has struck again. He has unleashed his latest creation. Let me begin by saying that if you have a love for all things that are good about the movies, do not see In the Name of the King. However, if you derive perverse pleasure from bad films, or cannot help yourself when it comes to a Boll film, or if you just happen to like Mystery Science Theater 3000, by all means, go and spend your hard earned money on this bloated "epic." As I sat in the theater, I could not help but shake my head and roll my eyes (even if it was only for my personal benefit) as the nonsensical story played out in front of me.

The story is Lord of the Rings boiled down with the fat separated out. The problem is that rather than take the good stock, Uwe Boll scraped off the layer of fat, added some of his own lard and dropped it in the deep fryer with a healthy dose of cheese. If you couldn't tell, this is not exactly going to help you with your cholesterol level.

Farmer (Jason Statham) is a, you guessed it, farmer who lives in a remote part of the Kingdom of Ehb. He lives a quiet, simple life working the land and taking care of his wife, Solana (Claire Forlani) and his son Zeph. Meanwhile, the wizard Gaillan (Ray Liotta) and the simple-minded Duke Fallow (Matthew Lillard) are plotting to overthrow King Konreid (Burt Reynolds). The lives of all these characters are about to cross and become inextricably linked as their fates become clear.

Their respective journeys begin as vicious orc-like creatures called Krug attack. During the attack Farmer's wife is kidnapped and his son killed. Well, enough is enough. Farmer, with a pair of friends head off on a journey to get to the bottom of the Krug attack and find his wife. Back at the castle, Fallow and Gaillan plot their next move as the Krug continue their rampage.

Before long, everyone's paths cross and secrets are revealed. If you don't guess what comes up during these revelations, you haven't been paying close enough attention. Everything plays it in a predictable manner that you will see coming miles away, even through all of the allusions to better films. It is an absolutely mind-numbing experience. In order to survive the flick, be sure to have your sarcasm stretched out and ready to run.

When it comes to a reason for what makes this movie so bad, it is difficult to choose just one. Looking at the big picture, it is, and I hate to be repetitious, a cheap knock-off of Tolkein and his Lord of the Rings universe. Not a good way to start. Next up are the sets, which look like the forest next to your house. Then there is the script which has the actors delivering some of the worst lines to grace the screen since, well, last week's One Missed Call, but you get the idea. The performances are all laughable, makes you wonder how Boll manages to attract the talent that he does. Finally, there are the numerous action scenes that cannot be distinguished one from the other.

At just north of two hours, In the Name of the King is a good 20-30 minutes too long. This is no Lord of the Rings and Uwe Boll is no Peter Jackson. The action scenes drag on and on and become dreadfully dull. The choreographed skirmishes don't offer anything of real interest, are bereft of blood (to avoid an R rating), and many of the blows don't land convincingly.

The performances are a mix of genuine earnestness and over-the-top hamminess. Jason Statham leads the cast and comes out of the experience relatively unscathed. He has the bad ass persona down to a T. Now, he does not really have a lot to do here, but he comes out Okay. On the other hand, Burt Reynolds and Matthew Lillard are completely miscast, these two have no place in a fantasy movie, and it shows. The two are just over the top in their performances and just feel off. As for the women in the film, Claire Forlani, Leelee Sobieski, and Kristanna Loken, they are given little to nothing to do other than look pretty, which they succeed at. I would be remiss if I did not mention Ray Liotta who seemed to know he wasn't supposed to be there and chose to take his performance as far as he could go with it.

Uwe Boll has been accused of being the worst director currently working. I don't feel that is completely accurate, but he sure doesn't shy away from controversy and seems to welcome being a target for derision. He has also been compared to Ed Wood in terms of his bad filmmaking, and that works on one level, but I have to believe that while Ed Wood was so in love with the art of movie making, Uwe has to be at least somewhat aware of the poor films he is helming.

Bottomline. This is not a good movie, but given the right friends and the right circumstances this can provide some fun. Still, this is not a good movie and I really doubt that Boll has a good movie in him.

Not Recommended.