Critical Capsule: Slender Man (2018)

Using Moviepass of late has turned into a sad game of Whack-A-Mole. I had intended to see The BlackkKlansman, but since those showtimes disappeared from the app, I turned towards the next available film. I was sent down the rabbit hole of Slender Man. I guess it should be said that I never cared about Slender Man, never looked into the modern viral phenomenon that gave birth to the guy, I also feel like the golden time for a movie is long since passed. In any case, I went to the movie and swear I found a cure for insomnia.

Slender Man crawls at a snail’s pace, relies on jump scares, and aside from a couple of neat camera tricks feels like a crappy version of The Ring mixed with a touch of Sinister. I never felt interested in the creature or the characters, the characters never really felt genuine. I think I would have been better served reading on the spawning of modern legend. The movie has nothing to say and gives the characters very little to do other than go through the motions of a mainstream, teen-targeted horror film. I would love to see more theatrical horror films let go and not be afraid af getting truly bizarre and scary. I think that might be asking too much. Slender Man is a hard pass.